So here's the situation:
To put it in discrete terms, I was going to the bathroom. More bluntly, I was taking a dump. Just as I was finishing off a roll of toilet paper, I thought, "Ok. Time to switch this empty roll out for a new one."
Actually, I didn't think that because who the hell sits around and thinks out full sentences like that? Maybe good old robot Saleem.
In any case, you know that toilet paper roll holder thing? Well, as I was changing the rolls out the roll holder fell into the friggin' toilet just a second after I had begun the flushing process. I was hoping that the the thing wouldn't go down the drain, but I'll be damned if it didn't. Not all the way of course. That little rolling bitch must've gotten stuck soon after disappearing into the great beyond, and now my toilet is pretty clogged. It will drain after sitting a while, but it takes forever.
So I call the apartment complex and tell them of my situation. Then what do I do after that? I make an entire bag of tortellini and EAT IT! If this guy doesn't come to unclog the toilet tonight, I could be in for some trouble.
I do have my law school ID card which can get me into the law school at any time of day. So if I get desperate, I'll make the ten minute drive, salute Saleem's billboard, use the men's restroom in the library (due to extra cleanliness), and be on my merry way.
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2 comments:
"Your honor, I represent the State in The People vs. Blogs. I'd like to enter into evidence Exhibit A, Christopher Venezia's recent post detailing his bathroom exploits as a prime example of why constant updating of people's lives via Internet is corrupting our nation's yoth . . ."
:-) J/K dog....to quote Office Space, "Watch Your Cornhole, man"
They still haven't come to fix that fucking toilet yet. My cornhole shall remain wary.
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