Non-Newtonian Fluid

Some extremely odd stuff. Apparently by mixing a substance like borax or cornstarch with water at a certain ratio, you can make a goopy liquid that acts like a solid when it is under high pressure/impact/stress.

It's basically somewhere between silly putty and quicksand.



If I had an empty pool and a shit ton of money to burn, I'd definitely give this a shot.

But I'm too busy studying for finals and finishing outlines for classes. When it's all said and done, I'll be looking forward to Christmas break, which will roll straight into my wedding celebration. More like a "weddebration" or a "fiestamonial event".

Still, finals must be completed before I can fully relax and enjoy thinking about my wedding par-tay. But what do I do when not studying for finals in my computer room? Glad you should ask because there would've been an awkward silence if I had to think up a transition myself, and no one like awkward silences. I mean, if there was being who embodied awkward silence, he would probably hate himself. No joke.

Anyway, when not studying in my computer room, I shall be studying on the excellent new couch Kelly and I bought. Fucking awesomeness. My first couch... a couch that actually belongs to me (and my soon-to-be-wife).

Is it a sign of maturity when you are as excited about getting a couch as you used to be about getting an X-Box or PS2? Or maybe it's a sign of insanity. A tattoo of insanity. A black mark of pirate insanity. But who doesn't love pirates? People love 'em. They loved them when the pirates raomed the oceans and stole from royal merchant ships, and they love being computer pirates nowadays, stealing from the corporate royalty of music and movie.

Really, did the government think they'd discourage copyright infringement by referring to it as "piracy"? They might as well have called it "mad ninja skills".

One of the Worst Criminals Ever

Do they need to stick this guy in prison? Because I think he punished himself enough.

(no audio, but still hilarious)



Seriously, how high did this guy have to be before he thought robbing a closed liquor store IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY would be a good idea? With no mask, even. I would've loved to be the defense attorney who heard this guy's story.

Miss Those Kittens

It has now been several days, and no sign of any of the kittens. One day they were eating delicious turkey that I was feeding them, and the next... vanished.

I highly doubt they all managed to get killed at once. They were smart and wiley kittens and often travelled separate from one another. What I think happened is that the angry black lady living on the floor above me finally called animal control services and got them caught.

Imagine a large frown on my face. Now double that.

Ah well, I hope they get adopted while at the shelter. I still have the gremlins to keep me company though... sock-stealing, light-leaving-on bastards.

And here's a nice pick-up line developped by Paul this weekend: "I want to be the Jim Hensen to your Kermit." Nasty.

Hilarious, but nasty.

A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Bucket

We've all felt it before.

A doldrum. Restlessness.Tedium. Dispiritedness. Melancholy. Dullness. Numbness.

Boredom. And when is boredom the most striking and painful? When we're alone. It strikes hardest when routines become so bland that we don't even see the point in using them to pass time. It squeezes our minds when that which typically entertains us falls pathetically short. It wrenches our very souls when we sit in solitude wondering, "What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

Boredom can be so intense at times that it almost creates a desire to give into apathy. To just not care. To not even want to avoid the nothingness with sleep. Instead, the boredom feels like a rock tied tightly to your soul and then tosses into a sea of absolute pointlessness.

You want to do something to break that boredom, but your mind gives a million and one reasons why all the possibilities for action can't or shouldn't be used. That's my current status right now. Luckily, I found some action to stimulate the old think engine of mine by describing crippling boredom in my blog.

Good times. Actually, I guess this would count as "bad times", but whatever. I'm blowing this joint tomorrow and heading for glorious old Athens, Georgia. Hang out with friends. Watch some football. Spout obscene language and politically incorrect jokes. Drink beers. THAT is a bonafide boredom basher... no doubt about it.

And so my ploy has worked. My spirits are lifted. Hope re-enters my mind. And overall, I'm feeling pretty good. Hahaha. Nice try, Apathy. But you have to a far more abstract and loathesome emotional state to take down good old Chris. What state is that, you ask?

Iowa. Corn-loving bastards.

What a Wonderful World

The following comes from an actual case out of Ohio written by a municipal court judge in his holding:

The court hereby announces a pearl,

It's sometimes OK to have a squirrel.

The legislature did a statute create,

The Wildlife Division obviously did not equate.

The necessity to be kind, thorough and specific,

The lack of these is legally terrific.

The result is this very short epistle,

The defendent/squirrel is granted a dismissal.

God, I love our country.