Hilarious ESPN Commercial

Oh yeah...

Kelly and me picked up a Wii last week. It's pretty damn cool playing around with the motion sensor remotes. It's apparently so badass, you might be tempted to hump it.

But I'll be damned, it's a truly immersive gameplay experience. Sound comes from the remote as well as the TV, and remotes are so sensitive, that I feel like I'm really bowling when I play the bowling game that came with the Wii. The way I throw the ball in real life was reflected pretty damn accurately in the game, and I used to actually bowl on a league as a kid. So I'm fairly familiar with with how my balls roll.

...

Anyway, it's cool stuff. No doubt if I were a rich man, I'd also get an X-Box 360. Fuck Playstation 3 though. Their over-priced piece of shit isn't selling well, and all the exclusive game titles they used to have have now jumped ship to Nintendo and Microsoft. Oh... and don't try to use clovers to power your Wii. Japanese tech and Irish plants don't mix.

April Buckets Bring... Aw, Fuck It

Watched a program on the Science Channel talking about our Moon. Apparently if the Moon had never formed, life on this planet would've never turned out the way it did. The Moon stablizes the tilt of the planet. As some might remember from high school or college science courses, the tilt of the Earth basically controls our seasons. A shift of one degree in tilt turned once lush jungles of northern Africa into what we today know as the Sahara Desert. Without the Moon, this planet might be wobbling on its axis tens of degrees every couple of years.

Basically, there would be no time for a north or south pole to form as areas of the Earth switch from freezing cold to tropical heat periodically. So our planet would basically be an ocean world, and humans never could've existed.

Crazy shit. But not as batshit crazy as that wife who murdered her preacher husband. I saw part of her cross-examination a few days ago. After she killed her husband by shooting him in the back while he was sleeping (which she claims was an accident), she took her daughters and started driving off. Off to where? She personally didn't know because she was "in a fog" at the time.

But she ended up stopping at a hotel for a night. The prosecutor asked her, "Had you ever stayed at that town before?"

"Oh, no."

"So why did you choose to stop at that particular hotel?"

"They had an in-door swimming pool."

Absolutely sounds like she was "in a fog" that kept her from thinking straight. I mean, everyone knows you pick hotels based on whether they offer a complimentary hot breakfast! You know what I'm talking about... little breakfast buffets with eggs, bacon, and one of those bitchin' waffle machines with a bowl of batter right next to it.

Shit... I might consider killing someone just for the waffle machine. But no one commits pre-meditated murder and then chooses a get-away hotel based on in-door pool. That late at night, the pool might be closed. Even if it was open, who wants to swim THAT late at night anyway. You could ver well find yourself swimming next to some nutjob who just murdered her husb-

Well, you get catch my drift. But hey, at least the murdering wife didn't ace herself right afterwards and was brought to justice unlike that punk ass Virginia Tech shooter.

I am PISSED that the little shit killed himself and basically avoided retribution. And this is another reason why I think the death penalty is generally crap. If putting murderous psychos to death was a good solution, then we should all be thankful that this guy decided to play "Kiss the Glock" and save us tax payers the cost of having to put him down ourselves.

Instead I feel like this guy cheated. Like he took the easy way out to avoid punishment. But Chris has a solution, people. I say that whenever murderers commits suicide right after their heinous act, we make the location of their grave easily accessible public knowledge...

... and then we install a toilet on top of the grave. Oh YES, I did just say that. We make the caskets of those murdering douche bags into mini septic tanks, and that way, people can basically come over to piss and crap on their physical remains forever. Sure, I believe in life after death, and I believe that this guy has a fairly good chance of spending eternity locked away in some hellish prison where demons torture him for his sins. On the other hand, taking a dump on a person who was a piece of shit just sounds right. Now, some may say that my moral compass is a bit "off"...

... still, there has to be some kind of earthly punishment allowable for creeps like the VT shooter. And it doesn't get much more earthly than feces.