Quick Trip to NY

Ah, good old New York. How I have missed thee. Good thing I get to visit your glory for the better part of Saturday as I travel by way of plane the Big Apple. Five course italian meal? Don't mind if do. I love delicious food, and celebrating the 75th birthday of Kelly's grandfather only makes the trip even more fun.

Gotta watch out though. I don't want to accidentally bring any dangerous substances like chapstick or minishampoo in my carry-on bag. The first step toward stopping terrorism is the confiscation of stick of deodorant afterall. I'm just waiting for the day when a terrorist tries to strangle a stewardess with his pants, thereby ensuring that all future flights will require 100% nudity among passengers.

Of course, little kids wouldn't be allowed to travel on all-nude flights, so that's a plus.

Anyway, I leave you with an edited comic cover and bid thee farewell. I'm not sure what the cover said before someone edited it, but it seems hilarious on its own:



Until next time...

Bulldog Bucket

Wheeeeeeewwwww! That was a close call this past Saturdy as Georgia rallied in the last few minutes of their game to beat Colorado 14 to 13. Nerve-racking shit indeed. Cox was brought in during the last quarter, and the offense finally pulled itself together. The word "touch" must've been spoken by the announcers at least 20 times in the last few minutes as Cox threw accurate passes without having to unload them like the cannon arm of Stafford.

All in all, I know Stafford is gonna get criticized by the fans a bunch... but hey. He's a friggin' true freshmen people. We can see he has the raw talent, but the kid needs time to shaped and harnessed into a top college quaterback. I'm sure in two years, all of us Georgia fans will be talking about a national championship, not as a distant hope or optimistic dream... but as an extreme likelihood.

And then... me and Kelly will be selling season tickets for $60 a piece. Hahaha! Price gouging at its finest. Actually, the oil companies would be price gouging at its finest, and thank sweet merciful God that prices are finally dropping.

Don't get me wrong. Seeing the pump break $40 to fill my 13 gallon tank was definitely a fun new experience for me, but perhaps it would be best if I could save some money to spend on... oh, I don't know... food, utilities, and clothing. Especially since stuff like my brother's birthday, Christmas, and my wedding are all coming up in the next few months.

In other news, it doesn't look like all of the U.S.'s illegal immigrants will be getting a free ride to citizenship. Sorry, law breakers! Maybe we'll let you become citizens when you respect our nation and come in lawfully.

To try and stem the flow of illegal immigrants, Congress is funding a 700-mile fence-like wall to cover our 2000 miles of border with Mexico. Call me crazy, but I think that leaves 300 miles of just open terrain for people to run across. Ironically enough, we could get the extra 300 miles built without adding to our budget if we just hired illegal immigrants. Oh irony, thine bitter cup dost overflow!

Buying Toilet Paper

So today after my first class, I head over to the supermarket to get some toilet paper. That was all I needed. Some good old TP.

But it's kinda weird when ALL you need is toilet paper. Y'know? There I was, walking up to the check-out lane with nothing but an enormous... possibily gigantic... maybe even ginormous 12-pack of Scott bathroom tissue. But everyone knows it isn't really "tissue paper". And they're fairly certain you won't be blowing your nose on it. Just awkward stuff, in my opinion.

I mean, everyone needs toilet paper. Yet seeing someone walking to a register with a double-digit pack of rolls makes you think, "Man... that person has a LOT of crapping to do."

Speaking of crap, Steve Irwin (the "Crocodile Hunter") was killed by a sting ray. The dude wrestles with crocs and fucks around with poisonous snakes... and a cute little sting ray gets him? I can verify that sting rays are indeed "cute" because I saw some at the Georgia Aquarium this weekend. The damn things have smiley faces on them! God did not intend these critters to kill people.







Frankly, I think this croc knew what was coming.








And factually, I am supported on my perception of God's undeniable will. Since modern worldwide recordings began, only THREE people have died from a sting ray's attack. Three people... in almost two hundred years. And who ends up being victim #4 to the ocean's happiest residents? Steve fuckin' Irwin! The guy who made "Crickey" a household word and tried valiantly to bring ultra-short khaki shorts into style with men. It's INSANITY! Across the globe, many crocodile tears will undoubtedly be shed.

As to my trip to the aquarium, I will share more news on that later. Peace out, people all over the world... or at least the handful of friends who read this.

Hahaha... Fantastic

An alternate ending video to the ORIGINAL Superman movie. Not the new one that had that crappy Lois Lane.