A Bucket A Day

Was playing some good old Halo 2 with Eddie today. That man is a beast with the plasma grenades. You'd think he was stringing Christmas lights the way so many people were getting lit up. In any case, after watching some Sopranos and playing a few rounds of Halo 2 online, I came back to my apartment to make some chicken breast strips.

And of course, what goes better with chicken breast strips than a dab or two of ketchup (pronounced catch-up)? Answer: BBQ sauce. But since I had none of that? Answer: the ketchup I was just talking about.

I had bought Hunt's ketchup last time I went shopping though, mostly because it was a buck cheaper than Heinz. Now no disrespect to Hunt. His ketchup is a fine product. But the slogan they have posted at the top of the bottle... it's a bit out there.

Taste and Believe

That's a bit ballsy on their part. They're not just saying, "Taste it and you'll probably enjoy our fine condiment. Perhaps upon a hamburger or hot dog?"

No, no. Taste and BELIEVE. What is this? Some kinda metaphysical code of ethics in the form of a red paste? Is a Kantian truth hidden somewhere between the 180mg of sodium and 4g of sugar? The Catholic church doesn't have balls that big. I've never once heard the priest say, "Taste and believe," as he passed out the host during Holy Communion... and the host is the fucking BODY OF JESUS CHRIST. If tasting could make you believe, I'm pretty sure the Vatican would be stuffing those holy wafers into envelopes and be mailing them out by the MILLIONS.

Yet Hunt's ketchup has the audacity to claim that a taste of a CONDIMENT... not even a real food... is enough to make you believe. I mean, I knew there was a reason the suicide rate had dropped, but hell. I wasn't aware that Hunt's was single-handily giving purpose to the lives of so many down trodden souls.