Oddi! Give me a buzz sometime, man. Peace out... or something. I don't know what kind of "fresh" lingo kids use these days. I ALMOST 25, damn it!
I am almost 25. If you're Deepak or Eddie, you ARE 25. And Kelly, you're 26, my older sexy lady. When in the fuck did this happen? When did all of us suddenly hit or pass the halfway mark to 30?
By an elementary school kid's standard, I'm old enough to be someone's DAD! By Maury Povich standards, I could a baby's daddy by now... possibly even the daddy of a baby's daddy. Fair enough? Yes, and frightfully so.
Gah. I don't honestly feel any worse as I age. If anything, shit seems to generally be getting better. That dream last night with the house full of zombie kittens was certainly disturbing... and I'm not quite sure how to explain the severed head and kilo of coke in my kitchen bag...
But yeah, things are looking up. So why is the age thing picking at me just now, you ask? Hard to tell. I think the number's relation to how close I am to 30 is what really gets me. Because 30 is pretty much THE adult age. I do consider myself an adult now, but when you hit 30, no one else can doubt the status. Even when you're 29, people can label you as a "kid in his late twenties". Thirty is the proverbial line in the sand though. Once crossed, things occur which can never be reversed.
By the way, is the "line in the sand" really a proverb? Or of a proverbial nature? I know that I tend to make up words at times, but even a man of near-25 years of age shouldn't be fucking with proverbs. Those things are like ancient tomes of wisdom, passed down over the years... possibly decades. Ah well, I'll let the line in the sand stay proverbial. For now.
In other news, Saleem's high fashion menswear is down to one billboard now. I guess the Spring Street homeless people couldn't stand his unremorseful gaze for night longer and pulled him down like some kind of ruined monument of oppression and double-breasted suit jackets.
Speaking of double breasts, Dolly Parton (if I spelled it wrong, I don't give a shit) sang a bit at the Oscars last night. The woman must be 78 years old, and her boobage is just disturbing to glance at. It's unnatural... like trading Johnny Caveman from the Red Sox to the Yankees. What next? Buddha takes up Judaism? THE WORLD FILLS WITH MADNESS, my friends. But 25 years worth of it, and it still ain't full...
Guess it never will be.
2 comments:
Sweetheart, you are going to be 24 this year, and me 26. But I still love you! You are almost here...three days!
Hey dickhead, I just turned 24, I've got another year until I'm 25. I feel 40 though so all in all it's a wash.
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