My duties in the wedding? Short yet poignant much like Gary Coleman:
1) Make sure people make it to the seats. People are dumb when left to their own devices. It became my job... nay, my mission... to herd these doe-eyed fools to their seats before the wedding eventeries began. Because if they had their way, they'd be roaming around. Chit-chatting. Possibly even jibba-jabbering. That kind of shennanigans is inexcusable on the day of my friend Kristin's wedding. Luckily, I learned a lot from watching military documentaries, COPS, and playing video games. So I set an example that would keep the others in line. So first old lady I saw? Backhanded her. Lo and behold, no one gave me any problems. Mission: accomplished.
2) Keep the sides even. The church sanctuary (where I myself will one day be wedded to beautiful Kelly) has one main aisle running down the center. Bride's friends and family go to the left. Groom's people go to the right. But sometimes you have do a little finageling. Maybe he knows a few more rows worth of people. Then again, maybe she'll have more intown people arrive. It's a mystery. An on-the-fly puzzle with pieces being shot at me as if I were on level 15 of Tetris.
3) Walk Kristin and Kelly's mom down the aisle. That's a trip and a half there. Sounds easy right?
It's like that aisle is some kind of tunnel of sacremental power. But I made it down there and to my seat easily. Fair enough.
4) Keep out Gremlins. Because those little bastards simply don't respect the sanctity of marriage. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Not a human and a mogwai. Not even Gizmo, although he kicked much Rambo-style ass in Gremlins 2.
All in all, it was a joyous event. Kristin and her dress looked good. Kelly performed her duties as Maid of Honor perfectly. Jason wept a bit as he saw Kris coming down the aisle. Ceremony went off without a hitch. Many awesome pictures were taken.
Reception was also good. Some excellent food was served, and I wept a bit when I saw the wedding cake. Let's face it... cake is awesome, and wedding cake is like the NY Yankees of cake.
Then Jason's bro gave a nice speech followed by Kelly giving a touching speech of her own. She thought she might not be able to get through it all without crying, but she did fine. Boo yah to my honey!
Then the band kicked it into over-drive, and people started jamming on the dance floor. Personally, I've never been much of a dancer. But as the band played on, I began to channel the spirit of Kevin Bacon and started whipping out moves that perhaps no man has ever seen before on this Earth. Smooth? Possible. Embarassing? Probable. Gonna get some dance lessons before my own wedding comes around? Damn straight.
X3 goodness tomorrow. I'll have a review up then.
Also, still waiting to see if I get that summer clerkship. GAAAAAAH!
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