Ever have some idiot driver cut you off, or make a left turn from a right-turn lane? Apparently for these people, drivingly safely and obeying the law makes no sense. Why? I'd have to say it might be because they think they're better than everyone else on the road. We have to obey rules. They don't.
Running red lights well after they changed from yellow? Typical occurance for these monumental risk takers. Miss an exit? Impossible when the law doesn't apply to you. You can just pull onto the shoulder and drive IN REVERSE until you get back to the exit you need (yes, I've actually seen this done). Honestly, driving all the way to the next exit and turning around is time that these people can't afford.
Lord knows they have an appointment at some grocery store where they have to get in line just before me after having picked several items to buy with no bar codes. Or maybe they have to be at a movie theater with their newborn baby... and then act surprised halfway through watching "Inside Man" when their kid starts crying uncontrollably.
But what if a man existed who could put an end to this? No, not a police officer. They're too busy filling their speeding ticket quotas to pull over actual traffic offenders. What we need is... a rich man. An insanely rich man. Oh yeah.
I mean, if I were rich, I wouldn't have to bother trying to avoid these idiots of the road when they pull half-assed stunts that could be potentially lethal. I'd just buy myself an armored car (and they make armored cars that look just like normal cars nowadays) and smash straight into these a-holes. Not at full speed or anything. Don't want to kill anyone.
At least not intentionally.
I'd simply neglect to hit my brakes as fast or as hard as I usually do when a maniac waits for me to get within one car length of him before pulling out to make a left hand turn. I'd just t-bone his car. He'd probably be all pissed off too and act like it was my fault for not driving extra safe to balance out his extra wrecklessness. I can imagine the words, "Are you fucking crazy!?" spouted from his lips.
This is the part where I step outta my driver's side door and scream, "YOU'RE crazy! I'M rich!" Then I'd throw a briefcase full of cash at him and drive off. Score one for the Chrismeister? Fair enough. I could spend all day just clipping people's cars as they drive like buffoons, tossing cash at them to keep them silent.
One can only dream...
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