About Damn Time

HA! Finally back with a blog article. Finals are coming up though, people. And here in Mac-town, we take our finals seriously. Why are finals worried over so much? Why are they stressed about, thought about, and the cause of studying in excess amounts never before dreamed by the likes of mortal man? I'll tell you why.

It's because... as a law student, you are like a dog handler, and the law is like a rather unruly German Shepard. You keep a large stick at your side while you dangle a juicy steak to keep it distracted. Then when gets in close, you beat it over the head and slip a choke chain around its nec. This is like studying for law. Unnecessarily brutal at times, but it pays off. Now you have a grasp on that wriggling beast of law. Sure. It tries to slip away from you at times.

Especially when you're intoxicated, but that's the beside the point. YOU HAVE IT! You are the master, the ruler, the victor, the- Oh shit! Is that a fucking jaguar with the word "finals" branded into its forehead?

The jaguar eats your new dog and possibly mauls your face a little. If you're lucky, this will get you an internship that pays. And uh, yep. That sums it up.

Sums it up like a song. Now let's talk about song lyrics. (pats myself on the back for that awesome transitional segway) Ever hear that poppy little love song called "This Love" by Maroon Five. Oh, you have. It's one of those songs that's just THERE on the radio when you flip through the stations. It's semi-not-new now, but they still play it plenty.

In any case, it's a light-hearted song that one would imagine is playing in the background as teenagers frolic and giggle and hold hands and buy pot. Just good times all over, and who couldn't be happier, right?

Erroneous. The song is actually... partly... possibly mostly... about finger banging chicks. Here are some of the lyrics:

I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied... Oh!
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again

Innocent enough, right? Just two wild and crazy kids who are lusting over each other... one being a possible nympho. Nothing you don't see on the OC every night. But theeeeeeeeeennnnn...

My pressure on your hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that's what you want me to do

"Oh SNAP!" as would say stereotypical young black youths. I mean, this song writer isn't even asking to do this. He's pretty diving right into this young, giggling, pot smoking OC nympho under the ASSUMPTION that a finger bang is she wants him to do.





"Over in the OC, we're all about showing the ladies some knuckle love. Heh heh heh... Be sure to tune in every Thursday at 9, 8 central, for more of my rich jackassery!"








This very well could be a song about date rape. Not a laughing matter... which probably makes my laughing a sign of some deep mental disorder. But ignoring my psychological issues for the moment, let's simply say that Maroon Five is telling to kids to express their affection througha bit of "hand massaging" in a song that sounds like something you might hear playing in the background of a Disney channel show. Disturbing? Mayhaps. Unsettling? Indeed. Confident like a cat?

I sure am, and thanks for asking!