Superman, Assholes, and the Revolutionary War

Ok, so I won't be talking about the Revolutionary War. But Superman and assholes? Ah-covered they will be.

First, let's start off with Superman. Supes. Big Blue. The Boy Scout. Mr. S-curl. All that stuff. He's the world's first conventional comic book superhero. And while Brandon Routhe looks like a skinny bitch in all the publicity shots and commercials I saw, he actually looks decent as Superman in the film. Perfect? No. But he does look good enough in the role that you actually buy him being Superman. Then again, just cause I bought it doesn't mean I'm sold on it.

To see the film, I went with a mottley assortment of characters: Kelly, Jacki, Nick, Chloe (Jacki's friend), Caila (Nick's lady), Oddi, Paul, and Kelly H. (Paul's lady). Risking the chance of a Yankees vs. Red Sox fist fight ensuing, I led the group the highest spires of the Mall of Georgia and into the fucking HUMONGOUS theater that we know as... IMAX.

Best part about? 20 minutes of 3D footage. Now was all of the 3D flawless? No, but the tech is getting close. The new 3D comes off basically crystal clear so long as the action isn't moving TOO fast. Unfortunately, Superman has a lotta hectic action scenes. Still, outta the 20 minues of 3D, about 10 minutes were flawless. The other ten were still pretty cool, even though the images would be kinda "ghosty" or seem like you could see through them.

But there is a scene involving a boat in the new 3D... and it was AWESOME! If all the 3D had looked that good, the film woulda blown my mind. Aside from the 3D, the movie had some great FX sequences. Superman saves people with style, and it all looks flawless. The CGI was just so good at times that you could actually believe a guy can save a... well, I don't want to give shit away. But Supes does save the world in this one. From Lex Luthor, of course. Kevin Spacey does a great job as the insane genius of Luthor, even though a few parts of the film were a bit too "goofy" for a supposed criminal. The only actor I really felt didn't nail a role was actually the actress Bosworth playing Lois Lane. Could be the way the script changed Lois though, but damn... Lois should be a bit bossier and more headstrong than that. This Lois Lane is apparently some floozy who happens to write decently but doesn't mind getting told what to do by... almost everyone.

All in all, a good film. Just not great, and Superman really deserves a great movie. Maybe if they pulled out Doomsday and gave Superman someone to actually FIGHT with, I would've been more entertained. But just getting to see Superman bust out his powers and save the day in more "mediocre" ways was still cool.

As for assholes, I have two to mention:

1) A random person getting onto the elevator as I'm trying to exit. Come on! You're supposed to let people get off the fuckin' elevator before you try to wedge your way in, and I mean... this person was pretty hefty, so wedging her way in was gonna happen no matter what. In any case, she's trying to squeeze her way past me the SECOND The doors are fully open. Then she says, "Excuse me," in that God awful condescending tone that we all know I hate. Flangricious biznatch.

Fortunately, she could not get past me with all the crap I was carrying. So I just stood there between the doors until she gave up and took a step back. Score 1 for Chris, common sense, and possibly a healthy lifestyle. "Being obese is genetics" my ass! Well, not literally my ass. I think my ass is rather fine at its current size, but people trying to pawn off being super fat as "the way they were born" is a crock of crap.

Because if eating yourself to death is "nature", then what does that make starving yourself to death? Oh that's right... we call that anorexia. A mental disorder. But doing the extreme opposite... sure... that is exactly what your body is coded for.

So in closing, people with mental disorders trying to barge past to get on elevators are assholes. Harsh yet true.

Now, this is a long post. If you need to, go take a break. Do some work. watch some TV. Then come back later and read the rest.

2) The next asshole is a person I happen to work with who thinks... I actually don't know what he thinks. But it is full of assholery.

All comes down to the fact that he has no friends or social life that I am aware of, and perhaps he sees the fact that two men being friends is "gay". For a heads up, Eddie works with me at the clerkship I have and (as has been mentioned a few times) we're good friends at law school. Aside from that, I don't talk too much about the job. Partly because some stuff is confidential and can't be talked of. Also partly because the stuff that can be talked about isn't really too exciting. Mostly just researching criminal statutes and cases, writing memos and briefs, getting lunch buffets at random places, and so on.

In any case, me and Eddie work for the same lawyer and generally go out and get lunch unless one of us has something else to do. I guess this means we must be gay, right? I mean, having a friend is just about the gayest thing I can imagine!!! Talking behind people's backs, worrying about how you dress, making snide comments, being emotional... all very heterosexual traits that the joke-maker possesses. But me and Eddie, who have hot female significant others, who have both played various sports and taken martial arts, who both follow carzy shit like "baseball" and "college football", and enjoy playing "Halo 2"... wait a second, I think that makes us totally straight! Whew. I was almost worried for a second there.

So what would lead this jaded co-worker... this trash talking colleague to say such things? Is it the fact that his "girlfriend" looks to be the least sexually satisfied woman I've ever met? Seriously, I actually feel bad for her sometimes because she's a pretty nice person, and he's just a total ass... especially to her. The whole group of clerks went out to eat one day, and rather than sit next to the girl he is dating, he sits on the opposite fucking end of the table. It's not like he was mad at her that day or vice versa. It wasn't like their romance is a secret. It was just that he plain did not want to sit next to her.

I can't even imagine a man who wouldn't want to sit next to his significant other when dining out with a group of people. Just seems retarded and heartless to me... but y'know... only in an asshol-ish kinda way.

In any case, this guy made a comment that was half-joke, half-blatant trash talk while at work. Now the comment wasn't very creative. Nor was it even that bad. What got to me was just the fact that he said it while we're at a job that is supposed to be somewhat professional. Bullshit 3rd grader "ohhh, wouldn't want to make Eddie jealous" hinting-at-possible-homosexuality jokes just shouldn't be getting used.

Especially by someone me and Eddie hardly talk to. Making gay cracks and your mom jokes CAN be sorta funny when made amongst friends. But for a mere co-worker to do so? That's trashtalk. And co-worker trashtalk is what assholes do.