Thursday, July 27, 2006

Operation: Pirates

Alternate endings to Pirates of the Caribbean 2

Witch-Woman: (thick accent) You will haf to sail to da end of dee earf! And there be only one captain who knows da way!

[A pair of feet stomp their way down shoddy wooden steps as the camera pans up to reveal...]

Gandalf the White: (smiles) I come to you now at the turn of tide!

Will Turner: Holy %@^&!

ALT 2

[A pair of feet stomp their way down shoddy wooden steps as the camera pans up to reveal...]

Jack Bauer: (loads his gun) And we only have 24 hours to do this. MOVE OUT, PEOPLE!

[Screen cuts to black with a yellow countdown ticker]

ALT 3

[A pair of feet stomp their way down shoddy wooden steps as the camera pans up to reveal...]

Captain Morgan: Arrrrr! (holds up a bottle of Spiced Rum)

ALT 4

[A pair of feet stomp their way down shoddy wooden steps as the camera pans up to reveal...]

Ron Jeremy: (smug smile as porn music plays bin the background) No one can tame the Kraken... in my pants.

Elizabeth: Oh really...?

Will: (puts his face in his hands) I was ready to marry to a damned whore...

ALT 5
[A pair of feet stomp their way down shoddy wooden steps as the camera pans up to reveal...]
Samuel L. Jackson: (pulls out a gun) The path of the righteous man is set upon all sides by a mother fuckin' Kraken!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You had told me about these and every time I hear/read them, still brings tears of laughter. I love them!

Anonymous said...

These were very funny! Yay!

Kristin