ge-AWD!

I am so fucking pissed at my mouse right now. Damn thing is breaking down on me, but it's a new buy. Just picked it up last month.

"Haha," I thought self-assuredly as I threw away the box the mouse came in. "No need to keep the package of what will most likely last me for years!"

I could run a cheese grater over my shins, I am so pissed! Speaking of cheese, grated provolone works wonders with any simple pasta dish. Really. You should try it. Just buy a fresh block and grate to your heart's content.

To my heart's content? That would be trying out a church and hearing the minister talk about the TV show Man vs. Wild. Yeah, me and Kell checked out a local church in Macon. The congregation was a good deal smaller than what we were used to.

For instance, back in Marietta, Kelly's church had just over 2700 members. The church we checked out down here had just under 210. And by the way, at least 150 of them must be over the age of... expiration. I dunno. There were just lots of old folks!

And they could all tell we were new. What tipped them off? Probably the fact that they didn't already know us by first name. Fortunately, we arrived with only a few minutes to spare before the service got revved up. That way, I'd have a good excuse for cutting awkward introduction conversations short: "Can we chat later? Because uhh... I can't hear you over the Word of God."

One cool thing about the service is that they have a "sharing of peace" thing like the Catholics. So I got to shake a few hands. I even got to shake an asian lady's hand, which was totally badass. No, not because I've never seen an asian before. I know April, and April is quite asian.

No, no. It's because in Macon, the only asians I ever see are on billboards for massage parlors. I'm as fuckin' serious as the Oscars are long and boring. There are billboards and signs and ads for at least a dozen massage parlors in Macon, and almost all of them are asian themed. One of them is even "trucker friendly".





You trucky, we sucky.







Yet you never see asians ANYWHERE, which has led me to the conclusion that Macon's entire asian population lives and works in those whore houses.

...


Maybe I shouldn't be so excited about shaking that lady's hand after all.