Buying Toilet Paper

So today after my first class, I head over to the supermarket to get some toilet paper. That was all I needed. Some good old TP.

But it's kinda weird when ALL you need is toilet paper. Y'know? There I was, walking up to the check-out lane with nothing but an enormous... possibily gigantic... maybe even ginormous 12-pack of Scott bathroom tissue. But everyone knows it isn't really "tissue paper". And they're fairly certain you won't be blowing your nose on it. Just awkward stuff, in my opinion.

I mean, everyone needs toilet paper. Yet seeing someone walking to a register with a double-digit pack of rolls makes you think, "Man... that person has a LOT of crapping to do."

Speaking of crap, Steve Irwin (the "Crocodile Hunter") was killed by a sting ray. The dude wrestles with crocs and fucks around with poisonous snakes... and a cute little sting ray gets him? I can verify that sting rays are indeed "cute" because I saw some at the Georgia Aquarium this weekend. The damn things have smiley faces on them! God did not intend these critters to kill people.







Frankly, I think this croc knew what was coming.








And factually, I am supported on my perception of God's undeniable will. Since modern worldwide recordings began, only THREE people have died from a sting ray's attack. Three people... in almost two hundred years. And who ends up being victim #4 to the ocean's happiest residents? Steve fuckin' Irwin! The guy who made "Crickey" a household word and tried valiantly to bring ultra-short khaki shorts into style with men. It's INSANITY! Across the globe, many crocodile tears will undoubtedly be shed.

As to my trip to the aquarium, I will share more news on that later. Peace out, people all over the world... or at least the handful of friends who read this.